Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just my bringin' up-ke That gets me out of hand My mother is a junky My father is a drunk Golly Moses, natcherly I'm a punk! Gee, Officer Krupke, I'm very upset I never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get I ain't no delinquent I'm misunderstood Deep down inside me, there is good! There is good! There is good, there is good There is untapped good Like inside the worst of me is good That's a very touchin' story I wanna tell it to the world! Just tell it to the judge Dear kindly Judge, your Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad! Right! Officer Krupke, you're really a square This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! It's just his neurosis that oughta be cleaned He's psychologically disturbed! I'm disturbed! I'm disturbed, I'm disturbed I'm the most disturbed Like I'm psychologically disturbed It's the opinion of this court That this child is depraved on the account he ain't had a normal home Hey, I'm depraved on account of I'm deprived So take him to a headshrinker My father is a bastard My ma's an S.O.B. My grandpa's always plastered My grandma pushes tea My sister wears a mustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! Yes! Officer Krupke, you're really a slob This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick! I am sick! I am sick, I am sick I am sick, sick, sick Like I'm sociologically sick! It is my humble opinion That this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all Juvenile delinquency is nothing more than a social disease Hey, I got a social disease! So take him to a social worker! Dear kindly social worker They say go earn a buck Like be a soda jerker Which means like be a schmuck It's not I'm anti-social I'm only anti-work Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk! Eek! Officer Krupke, you've done it again This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen This isn't a question of misunderstood Deep down inside him, he's no good! I'm no good! I'm no good, I'm no good! I'm no earthly good Like the best of me is no damn good! The trouble is he's lazy The trouble is he drinks The trouble is he's crazy The trouble is he stinks The trouble is he's growing The trouble is he's grown Krupke, I've got troubles of my own! Gee, Officer Krupke I'm down on my knees 'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease Gee, Officer Krupke What am I to do? Gee, Officer Krupke Krup you!